Some Things I'm Learning - S.T.I.L.

Don't mean to sound like a broken record, but in reference to the changes that are happening in my life, I am learning some things. Things I should have learned a long time ago. Nevertheless, I am learning them now, and I want to record them. So whenever you see a post from now on titled "S.T.I.L." you will know what it means... Some Things I'm Learning. (And ironically, it makes the word "still." Since I should have had these things figured out quite some time ago.)
So, here we go.... Some Things I'm Learning:

HOW WE LOVE OTHERS IS TO BE OUR WITNESS TO AN UNBELIEVING WORLD.
I know, starting out with some deep stuff right? But this is what I've come to notice about myself recently... there have been so many instances when I see someone I haven't seen in awhile, and I walk away from the brief conversation and realize I barely asked them about what is going on in their life, they asked about me the whole time. Or, I choose to only surround myself with certain people because of my comfort zone, because they fit into my little bubble of approved people. Or, those who I feel aren't worthy of my kindness for one reason or another get pushed aside. The last couple of weeks I have been studying in John, and it amazed me to take a close look at how Jesus was with Judas the entire time He spent with him. ALWAYS kind. ALWAYS loving. ALWAYS giving him every opportunity to change. Even though He knew all along what Judas was going to do, He knew his heart. Then, reading John 13:34-35 when Jesus is talking with His disciples the night before He is crucified (after Judas has taken off determined to betray Jesus) "Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." It occurred to me that I do not love this way. If I did, why wouldn't I ask others how they are doing before rambling on about myself? Why would I complain when my husband asks for a back scratch? Why would I complain when someone needs something of me, and I just don't feel like helping them right now? I know these things are small, but they come from somewhere. I want people to be able to look at me and say, "Something is different about her." Not, "Wow, I didn't know she was a Christian." I have always had the fear of people withdrawing if they knew about that part of me... but that's just it. My faith isn't just one small part of my life... it IS my life, and if that's what others don't want to be around, that's their choice. "Then he said to the disciples, 'Anyone who accepts your message is also accepting me. And anyone who rejects you is rejecting me. And anyone who rejects me is rejecting God, who sent me.'" Luke 10:16

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD IS LIKE ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP : IT REQUIRES QUALITY TIME.
This may sound totally stupid, totally ridiculous... but this is how I know God is seriously at work in me. The other night, I had (still do) my 3 favorite shows recorded on my DVR to catch up on. Lost, American Idol, and The Bachelor. One of my favorite things is once the girls are fast asleep in bed, I can curl up on the couch with a blanket, maybe a bowl of cereal, and it's Mommy's time. My time. I get to indulge myself in my guilty pleasures for an hour or two and then sleepily crawl off the couch and go to bed... too tired to do anything else. Well, as I had mentioned a few posts ago, I have been praying for God to grow my faith, for me to want to spend more time in the Word, not just doing my lesson because I'm supposed to and I don't want to show up with only half done. And here I was the other night, just putting Sophie to sleep, Frankie working, and the thought came to me that I really don't care about those shows right now. I would actually RATHER crawl into my bed, turn some lights on and read the Bible for a bit, do some of my lesson. I couldn't believe that. That is HUGE for me. I wanted, wait no, PREFERRED to spend time with Him. That was a crazy good feeling. And I realized my relationship with God isn't any different than say, my relationship with my husband, or, my kids. When you spend quality time with someone, that's what builds. That's how love grows. So how could I expect to just magically love God more by just praying for it? I play a role in that. It's up to me to make that effort for quality time.
The very first lecture in BSF this year, back in September, the teaching leader started out by asking, "What do you pour your life into?" And she gave examples... kids, career, etc. The most important thing I can do with my time is to spend it with God. And if I want more of God's truth I need to act on the truth He has already given me. The most important thing to find out is what God says. And I can't depend on a 45-minute sermon every Sunday and a bible study class each Wednesday to do it for me. I prayed not only to know Him more, but for the desire to know Him more... and I got what I asked for.