Where am I... God, marriage, kids (PART II)

Where am I ...?   Part II   Marriage

I'm... thankful.  Infact, just today, out of the blue, I get this:

I have no idea what I did.  :)

But really, I didn't do anything.  I can't take credit for one ounce of marital bliss.  I am so thankful that God has been at work in our marriage.  I'm thankful to have a husband who isn't afraid of getting his hands dirty when it comes to the hard stuff.  I'm thankful for the very real examples of God's protection over our marriage even just in the last couple of weeks.  Let me back up, yes I did say marital bliss.  Now that comes with the package as newlyweds.  I have a horrible memory but I do remember some of our first year of marriage.  I remember the honeymoon- the smell of hawaiian tropic and plumeria, the amazing food, beautiful beaches and feeling like we could take on the WORLD.  But what's almost surreal to me is how different those two people were from who we are today.  SO different.  In my unpacking I recently found a memorabilia box, various things from 12 years ago... and let me just say... HILARITY.

It was like a trainwreck- I couldn't NOT look.  I kept reading (and laughing) at our dreamy plans and endearing pet names for each other.  Not that we don't call each other "babe" and "love" now, but this was over the TOP.  Yet again, two different people.  My driving force is not what it was before.  My heart is not what it was before.  God has taken jealousy and replaced it with confidence.  He took bitterness and replaced it with forgiveness.  He took hurt and replaced it with healing.  He took selfishness and replaced it with love.  I am not who I was before, and it's for that exact reason that I love my husband more than I ever did when we were first married.  Did you catch that?  I didn't say it's because he isn't who he was before.  Sure he has changed a lot over the years, mostly in the last couple.  But that's not what deepened my love for him.  God did.  Then, as a result of God's work, I see what He is doing in my husband's heart- the way he serves me, the way he cares for me, the way he talks to our girls, how he disciplines them... and that propels the falling in love even more so.  It's a vicious cycle, this love thing.  ;)

So I'd say, when it comes to my marriage, I am thankful.  So content.  So loved.  And so IN love.  Can't wait for the next 12 years... and the next 12, and the next 12, and the next 12....

Where am I... God, marriage, kids (PART I)

So I kind of promised myself I would blog once a month.  Well, it's been a month and lots has been going on but honestly, I'm not sure what to journal about.  I love having this blog.  It really does not matter to me who or how many read it.  Because it's a way for me to write down what's going on in my life.  And what our journey as a family looks like over the years.  I haven't exactly been consistent with it, but it is pretty amazing (for me at least) to look back over the years and read about it all.  So, I'm going to keep my commitment of at least once a month.  It's worth it.

One of the things our life group does when just the ladies get together is a go around of how we are doing... with God, with our marriage, and with our kids.  I love this because it basically encompasses the main aspects in my life and helps me reflect on a regular basis.  So I thought since I have nothing very particular to blog about that's what I would do... where am I at... with God, my marriage, and my kids.

PART I of this blog... kids: oh boy.  They have me busier than ever, and it is just about to be turned up a few notches.  Hannah is CRAWLING.  Man she steals my heart.  And robs me of much housekeeping time.  Still waking up a ton every single night (2x if I'm lucky, 3-4x regularly), but hoping when I wean her off night feedings (which only God knows when that'll be since I have issues with letting go of nursing) that she'll get longer stretches of sleep.  OH!  And she is looooving table food.  Can't hold that girl back.  Papa's spaghetti in particular was one of her favorites.  Thanks Papa.

Sophie... her feisty-ness and hilarity just seems to get more intense as she gets older.  She cracks me up with her facial expressions and Boston accent.  (Yes, she has an accent, no idea where that came from.)  I love hearing her play with her older sissy down the hall and listen to them both laughing til their bellies hurt.  The older Soph gets, the more fun they seem to have together.

 She takes my breath away sometimes.

^Exploring at Shaver Lake                 ^Sisters being goobers

And Victoria... ok, *deep breath*... she starts kindergarten August 15th.  I am SO excited for her.  God has been at work orchestrating this school year for her.  From the timing of our move, leading us to school registration, to meeting the principal & teachers then having a connection with one in particular- seeing Jesus in her, to opening a piece of mail yesterday informing us she is in THAT teacher's class.  Tears literally came to my eyes reading that.  The Lord is placing her in a classroom with a teacher who made us feel so welcomed and who warmed my heart.  That is who will be teaching, caring for, growing, and investing in my firstborn, 5 days a week for 9 months.  Thank You Jesus.  August 15th will be a tough day for me.  I had some insight into myself the other day as to why so tough, why am I already crying just thinking about that day?  Ok well a chapter of V's life is ending.  And a new one is beginning.  My almost 6 years of having her home with me every day is coming to a rapid close.  And she is about to be opened up to a whole new world, one she will be a part of until she's an adult.  One filled with fun, joy, and learning... and also struggles, difficulties, hurts, and influences other than Mom and Dad.  But, I have a peace with our choice of public schooling.  I understand my role as her mother, and Frankie understands his as her father and leader of our home.  I am embracing the thought of the many teachable moments and opportunities to show V what God's Word says in her different experiences... what Truth looks like in our daily lives... and how it's applied.  Going to be praying for this year, for V's sensitive heart, for Mrs. Blesse (seriously, that's her name- how fabulous is that), and for my heart and mind to be at peace sending her off.

Soooo that's where I'm at with my girls... guess this post will be longer than I thought.  

Part II on marriage coming soon...

Creating Memories

Wow.  What a whirlwind these last 2 weeks have been.  I knew moving with 3 little ones was going to be a lot, but not this much.  I feel like I have never worked so hard physically, emotionally and mentally.  Not only were we changing houses, we were changing lifestyles.  So even just organizing myself enough to make the lengthy grocery trip to costco so we'd have all we need once we are "out there", to talking with the girls about what to do if they see a rattlesnake, to taking Sam to the vet for a foxtail that burrowed its way into his ear canal, to everything else in between (ie: unpacking, property maintenance, swim lessons in town, and oh ya, taking care of 3 kids) I am in awe of the energy and stamina God has provided throughout this process.  Although not sure it would have happened without Mimi.  Yes, grandma worked her tushy off helping us get the rest of the old house packed up.  (Thanks Ma.)  So much has already transpired, memories are being made in a home that has only been home for not even 2 weeks.  So instead of trying to blog about each, I'll sum it up....

Our first morning waking up here.  This is looking out our bedroom slider.

First order of business: tidy up that kitchen.

June 15, 2012: Hannah turned 8 months old just 2 days after moving in.

Our second morning waking up here.

My little country girl in her pinafore, helping mama with dishes.

Loving the sunsets.  So majestic.

V holding a small praying mantis.  She's stepping out of her comfort zone.

My view from the kitchen window.  Mow away babe!

My firstborn on her swing.

Our first bbq.

The girls waiting for the nightly spa time.

Ending an evening with a little fire in the courtyard.

This is what we do for entertainment: watching the frogs on the window eat their dinner.  Actually was quite fascinating.

A fairy picnic.

Our last meal, saying goodbye to the old house. *tears*

Woke up one morning and looked out my bedroom window to see this... my man having quiet time with our Lord.

Frankie and Sophie in the spa at 6:00 AM

All my loves in bed with me at the crack of dawn.

Daddy and the girls mowing.

We have frogs everywhere.  Girls and dog love chasing them.

So close to crawling.  Oh, my love.

Favorite morning activity: baking.

Enjoying the wonderful breeze and cooler weather.

She's really picking up on chores.  Such a servant's heart.

"Girls, what's your favorite thing about your new house?"... "The spaaaa!!!"

We're HERE.

Thank you Jesus for the blessings You have lavished upon us.  Teach us to be wise, to be good stewards of these gifts.  Bless this home, may Your hand always be upon it, protecting and shepherding the family that dwells inside.  In Christ's name I pray, Amen.

A Scroll BONFIRE!

At the end of a past post ("Scrolls to Burn") I had referred to another scroll to burn as future blogging material.  Well, here's the future.  The conviction has not left, the reasons have only multiplied, and now a call to obedience.  Let me clarify one thing now: this is a conviction specific to ME, and I will explain that later.


Yesterday someone posted an article on Facebook.  (Hm, I find it interesting that my spellcheck is capitalizing Facebook.)  Anyway, I will post a link to this exact article at the bottom of this post.  Basically it was talking about our addiction to digital technology, social media, and it's effects on our world- immediate and long-term.  How our children are growing up in this culture and will never know what it's like to NOT have Facebook.  Or even cell phones, texting, twitter, all of it.  How our self-esteem is determined by our updates, check-ins, tweets.  How our obsession with posting data about our kids is destroying our children's privacy.  Reading this article was just enough of the nudge I needed to make the change that has been needed for quite some time....


Ok so the scroll to burn is my Facebook account.  Yes, my digital connection to sooo many friends (and family even) is what I need to be done with.  Already I have received messages from people... "why??"  Well, a few reasons... firstly, the TIME.  The time it takes away from my family, my girls, my home, my God.  The laundry that's sitting on the couch not being folded, the dishes that are sitting dirty in the sink, the daughter that's asking for something, the time that could be spent in the Word during what may be my only brevity of quiet for the entire day.  I hate when a day ends and I look around and think What did I accomplish today?  When I continually (and automatically now) throughout the day go to Facebook to send a message, post an update, check my messages, etc instead of doing something of higher priority, I am messing up.  And in turn feeding the addiction of going to other things to procrastinate/ avoid responsibilities that are requiring my attention, my time.  
Next reason: it's a threat to the simplicity I am longing for.  It was like I had this epiphany... I am moving to the foothills.  Going to be on 4 acres of beautiful countryside, and one of the most appealing attractions to me is the potential for simplicity.  Not as much running around town, errands all over.  More time at home, teaching my girls how to bake (heck, teaching MYSELF how to bake), growing vegetables, watching my girls ride bikes, gardening, etc etc.  But yet how can I live that simple life when I spend so much time on my computer or cell phone?  I'll be so busy posting pictures of the garden or girls riding bikes that I miss out on actually enjoying it.  Now this is where I wanted to speak for what's specific to me.  I can already sense all the defense mechanisms kicking into gear and hear the claims: Facebook isn't a bad thing!  I agree, it's not.  What IS a bad thing is when I allow it to consume so much of my time that I ignore much more important things.  And since I apparently don't have the discipline to Facebook in moderation, it has to end.  
Another reason... and this goes along with the desire for a simpler life, I don't want my girls growing up seeing Mom and Dad so well connected to their lap tops, iPads and iPhones that it places technology and connectivity on such a pedestal.  Instead my desire is for them to see our highest value is connectivity with the Creator of the universe.  Perhaps we as a modern culture have become so connected technologically that we have forgotten the necessity of connectivity to God.   And not just connectivity-  close communion.  Constant communication.  Imagine if we communicated with God as often as we communicate on Facebook.  What would THAT say to our children?  I have been so burdened lately with the world our little ones are growing up in.  And the values and truths I need to instill in them.  I need to be intentional in my parenting, proactive in my setting an example, passionate for the things of God, and fighting for an ultimate goal, a higher purpose, a chief aim... glorifying God.  The only One worthy of it.  The only One worthy of my time and my affections.  The One who stirs and brings about changes in me that make me a better wife, a better mom, a better daughter, sister, friend.  So can I give up Facebook for Him?  To make more time for Him?  To follow a conviction and be a better example to my three daughters?  Yes.  Yes I can.


P.S. here's the article that pushed me over the edge :)   the CNN article

The Pickle-Eating Process

With V, one of her favorite things for teething was teething biscuits.  For Sophie, it was a big cold dill pickle spear.  I couldn't find any teething biscuits at the store today for Jo Jo.... so we grabbed a pickle.  Here's how it went....

 She's so trusting.

(Right about now she's not so sure about this)

 You can almost feel the shiver.

I think she liked it!  :)

Thanks for the Laughs, V

I thought it was time to blog some of the awesome things Victoria has said.... just for laughs.

• V keeps taking toys away from sissy and so I explain to her that is being selfish and that does not make God happy, we need to share, etc etc. A minute or so goes by and she says, "Mommy, do you like fish?" Me: "well yes Victoria, I do." V: "But you don't like selfish??"
• We are driving home from Southern California and in the distance V sees a semi truck filled to the top with oranges. From her spot way in the back seat we hear an almost whisper, "wow... look at all those cheetos..."
• "But Moooom! Marshmallows are a vegetable!"
• "You want me to paint your nails sissy? When I am 16 I can paint your nails."
• When discussing sin and the enemy with V... "Well when the devil tries to get at you, you can just run away as fast as you can!"
• Me: "V you need to clean up your room, it's a mess." V: "I'm not too excited about that right now."
• V asks me if I can do a headstand. Me: "No way jose!" V: "Ok, but don't call me jose anymore."
• Sophie and V begin to fight (physically) so I get in there and break it up. I have Sophie apologize and ask V for forgiveness for pushing her. V is not willing to forgive and so I ask her, "V, what do you think Jesus would do if He were here?" ..... After a long pause she answers, "Give us spankings"
• "I have something very important to tell you Mom.... it's best to give than receive."
• Me: "You know what's so special V? Since you asked Jesus into your heart you will go to heaven someday. And I will go too. So that means we will be together forever. Because once you go to heaven you are there forever and ever." V: "nooo, then we'll miss church and BSF!"
• "Daddy is my favorite man in the whole world."
• V is trying to talk with me while I'm on the phone.... after I hang up I explain she cannot have a conversation with me while I am on the phone... I was talking to Daddy and I cannot listen to two people at one time. Her response: "But Mom, you have two ears."

Inside the Mind of Sophie

So you're probably asking yourself, why am I looking at a picture of Rolos??

I'll tell you why... this is what I was forced to buy at the grocery store while in the check out line. Yes, forced. Because while I was unloading the grocery cart, my daughter (you all know which one) was investigating all the different types of chocolate on the stand. As she picked up M&Ms I asked her to put them back. She did not behave while shopping (this includes running laps down the grocery aisles, playing hide and seek in produce while squealing at the top of her lungs, pulling things off the shelves, etc etc). Hence, no chocolate. So what does my lovely Soph do when she is told "no"? Takes things into her own hands of course. As I am unloading item after item I look over and see her with the Rolos. I ask her to put them back. When I turn around again, she is unraveling the wrapper. "Sophie! No!" As soon as she hears my voice those little hands of hers start working much faster. Now with the outer wrapper on the floor and the next one almost open I dart towards her. She doesn't even look up at me. Just snags the first spot of brown her eyes hit and shoveled it into her mouth, cheeks puffed out and lips closed tight just in case mom would try to take back the caramel filled yumminess. As the cashier just stares at us, like I'm some dysfunctional mom with no control over her kids, my frustration quickly turned into me having to hide my laughter. This girl, this 3 year old, is so gloriously different than our firstborn. I find myself at my wits end constantly. Thinking, what do I do here?? Victoria would never have done that. You firmly tell her no, and she puts that chocolate back. She may cry, but she puts it back. Sophie... cry? No way. Just shove it in before Mom can do anything about it. That's just a peek inside the mind of my Sophie. Want another one? Kinda fun huh?

Ok here's another one... yesterday I caught Sophie shoving her finger into Hannah's eyeball. Hannah starts crying and Sophie goes to time out. She knows she is not supposed to touch Hannah's face.... way too many eye-pokes, squeezed cheeks, nose picks, etc and so Hannah's face is off limits for her. So the time out begins, door shut. Within a minute or so I hear yelling. Loud yelling. Thinking she is mad about her consequence I begin down the hallway towards her room. As I get closer to her door I hear just what it is that she is yelling out in these angry tones... "JESUS LOVES ME THIS I KNOW! FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO!...." I stood shocked for a moment in the hallway. Is this how she gets back at me?? She wants so badly to scream and yell and be mad, and figures she isn't going to get in trouble for singing "Jesus Loves Me." Yup, that's my kid. That's my Sopha-lish. Thanks for making life SO interesting Sophie. I love you.